Dog Training

Sit! Stay! Sit, sit, SIT! OK, now stay. Staaaay. Stay!

Good Dog.

What. Ever.

Look, I do my business outside, and adhere to the schedule of the humans. I don't chew the furniture or make doody in the hall. I'm a good dog. What's with the extra stuff, sit, stay, come here, it's like they think I don't know what I'm doing!

Well, they're right. When the people call or tell you to do something, it is usually for your own good. For instance, say you see a really gorgeous boxer walking across the street. Sure, your first instinct is, "Oh my, who is that? They look like fun!" or maybe "Who is that, they look like trouble!" or even in some cases, "How dare that boxer think it can pee on my spot! I'd better run right over and re-scent my territory!" Whichever one of those three you choose, it's wrong. Why? My first guess would be, because of cars. Cars are big, they go fast, and sometimes they don't see you. So the first important lesson all you dogs are going to have to wrap your brains around is the very simple, very important command, "Come."

I'm pretty stubborn, it's just my nature. (My people decided to find it charming.) Anyway, when I was still a puppy, they practiced with me. They started really simply, by sitting next to me, saying "come" and then touching my nose with their finger. And for just sitting there and letting them touch my nose, I got a treat! It was wild! Then they got up and moved away from me. They would say that word again, "come" and hold out one of their fingers. And I figured out right away, that if I got off my duff and walked over there, they would touch my nose again...and give me another treat! It was amazing! This is easy! It got so I decided that every time I heard my name, and "come" I would just run over, and touch their finger with my nose...yea! Treat! Wow! Then I found out that there was other stuff I could do for a treat. I could 'sit'. I mean, it's incredible, all I have to do is this really simple thing, and if I do it just right, there'd be a treat. People are easy.

Or so I thought. After awhile, it got to be more challenging. They started messing with my head, leaving a treat on the floor and making me walk around it to touch their finger with my nose. That was hard at first, but what they were teaching me was to trust them, and obey. Because it's often very important to obey. Once I was on a walk, and I saw a raccoon. I wanted so much to chase that raccoon, I was barking, pulling at the leash. Then the woman said, "No!" and tapped me on the leg with her foot. What was that? I thought. I had to stop and think about that for a second. And by then, that raccoon was gone. She does that all the time when we're out, she taps me on the leg when I get too interested in something that maybe I shouldn't, and says "no." And you know what? She's right.

Of course, sometimes I come across something so compelling, so important, something that smells so good, that I just have to check it out. I hear "come!" but dang it, it's like this thing is a gift from Sirius, and to ignore it is unthinkable! (She's the same way sometimes, when she's typing, or listening close to something on the radio or picture box, and I want to tell her to fill my water bowl. She sits there and says, "Just a minute!" That's what it's like, so the very second she looks at me, I take advantage. I bark, and I say, "now!") So, when I'm all engrossed in a dead squirrel, or whatnot, she says, "come!" and I'm like, ooooh, just a minute, this is really good! and then, I glance over at her, just to let her know I'll be right there, and that's when she goes crazy! She calls me a good dog and bounces up and down and she looks so happy I can't help myself - she's better than a dead squirrel any day! I run right over, and get a cuddle. It's great.

It's all about the timing. Use my search tool at the bottom of the page to find a class for you and your person.

My humans sometimes watch this program called "The Dog Whisperer." Sometimes I watch it when they're not paying attention. It's really good, and some of those dogs are so confused, but that guy, Cesar Milan, he knows what to do. I really like that he is actually training the people to understand us dogs better. We're really pretty easy to figure out. And as long as you help us learn by reminding us what we're supposed to do, we'll get it. Some of us take longer than others, some of us (especially me!) like to argue about who's in charge, but in the end, I know that all I really have to do is trust them.

Then we can trust each other, and life is good.

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"I'm not stupid, I'm just big-boned."

- Wild Eye James, Basset Hound